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Month: May 2017

I smiled today

I smiled today

Well I am sitting here relaxing at home watching some Netflix. When I got up this morning I was still feeling the pain as well as the lack of sleep. It was all starting to take its toll on me physically and mentally. So I sat here drinking my coffee and just thinking of the past few days events. Thinking to myself ‘you know what self!  I’m not going to sit here and wallow in all this self pity!  I’m…

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Another late night.

Another late night.

Well I was inside with my husband listening to him go on and on about the new life he is going to live and how excited he is about it. Unbeknownst to him that each word he utters is a dagger to my heart. His laughing, his joking creating more pain in me. So now I sit out here on my front porch in the swing. Its 11:00pm and cold but I can no longer sit in that house with…

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Starting over……Nervous and scared.

Starting over……Nervous and scared.

Well me and my husband are getting divorced after 14 years of being together. I’m excited that I will be happier. That my life will lead to bigger and better things. That I will finally feel free to explore what I wish. To be able to do as I please. To not have to worry about answering to someone else!  To be able to go out and purchase something for my self and not feel guilty about it! I’m excited…

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Just had enough.

Just had enough.

As I sit here drinking my morning coffee thinking back on the past 14 years of my life all that continuously runs through my mind is ‘I have just had enough’. I have had enough of being ignored. I have had enough of feeling like I’m just being used. I have had enough of not being touched. I have had enough of being made to feel as if I’m just an annoying bother that has to be kept around. I…

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