My Dom and I were having a discussion yesterday afternoon. It was about doming from a distance. Before I felt that I couldn’t express myself in these journal entries. I felt that my D/s would be put on the line and I’d find myself alone. But I feel more confident now with the constant reassurance that I receive from my Dom that our D/s is strong and will last till the end and a day.
So here I am expressing my thoughts and feelings. As I was saying in the beginning he and I were discussing long distance doming, we have two different opinions of it. He feels it isn’t real, that it is just words. There is no physicality in it, no touch, no meaning, it holds no merit and not worth the work in an LDR. And I respect the way he feels he’d rather the kink part of our relationship be face to face and pretty much have a vanilla one while we’re apart. Now this being said he was willing to put his feelings aside and do a test trial for a month to see if he could have a change of opinions/wants in regards to doming in an LDR. I respect how feels and greatly appreciate the fact that he was willing to do this for ME.
But as he loves me enough to make this sacrifice for my happiness I love him enough to not ask this of him. You see it would make me happy, I would feel so much more! I would be grounded, I’d feel so much more secure and fulfilled. I need the dominance in my life, it’s so much more to me then a bunch of words. I’m sure all you subs out there know exactly what I’m trying to say. I want it so bad that I can literally taste it! I crave it! I need it! I find that sometimes I beg for it.
But sadly if he’s only doing it to make me happy and he doesn’t get joy or happiness out of it then it’s all null and void. 😔 I can’t receive what I need if he is not receiving what he needs as well. So here I am at a stand still with no good solution in my future. The only solution that I see is to do what makes him happy and keep my needs and wants suppressed until we can see one another face to face. Now I know for a fact once he reads this he will disagree with my solution and not be happy with how I feel. He’s a fixer and he does everything in his power to assure that I am happy and well taken care of. He is a beautiful Dominant/Master to me. I am very proud to be owned by him. We have a great relationship except for this one conundrum.
I feel better but also sad after writing this jornal entry. But at least it’s out there and I don’t feel like I’m holding it all up alone. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope everyone has a wonderful day.